#3b. An Old, Dusty, Blog

I wrote this a few years ago. It might be on a blog somewhere - it might be on this blog way back in the achieves of Blogger. But I thought I would repost it. It's the reason why this blog has the title Rooftops and Secrets. Enjoy ...

"It’s ironic that the secrets I wish to proclaim are found in the world's best seller, the Bible. Yet I think it is one of the most misunderstood books in the world. Countless people own one but I would venture many don’t read it. I owned one for most of my life and would only open it while in religion class or, even more rarely, at church. There were only a few verses I knew and even less that I understood. When I was young I would try to find creepy or morbid stories in the Old Testament. (I distinctly remember reading the story of Lot and his daughters in horrible fascination.) It helped pass the time through a the boring, endless sermons.

Then there was that one day at church. I was about nine, sitting with a friend and we were leafing through this book to find something of interest. I flipped to the back, the end of Revelation. Do you know what the last word of Revelation is? “Amen.” Basically, “Let this be so.” Those who pray say it at the end of their prayers, a godly way of saying good-bye. At this point, neither of us knew that many authors wrote the Bible or that its contents cover thousands of years. I stared at it in amazement and turned to my friend to show her. We both were stunned to find that the book was one long prayer. I think I spent the next few years believing that someone got down on their knees and prayed the whole stinkin’ Bible.

Well, thanks to the marvelous education I was a part of, I learned that actually this book is a compilation of letters, observations, stories, and hundreds of prayers written by many different people. And many of those smaller books end with “Amen.” My youthful finding stood corrected.

However as I have grown and walked with God a bit I have come back to this thought I had as a nine year old. This book is a giant prayer – but spoken by no human being. It is a prayer that God Himself has chosen to pray and let those who are curious to listen in on his thoughts.

I am humbled to say that God has drawn me in to listen. I do want to tell you I haven’t been listening very long compared to many Christians who have gone before me. At times I have listened with passionate hunger for more and others have been with clouded indifference. What once sat on my shelf correcting dust is now one of the most fascinating, frustrating, confusing, beautiful, and astounding collection of words I own.

As I’ve read the Bible I have noticed how it changes things. It challenges your intellect and leaves you breathless with wonder. It talks about how, if we choose to believe the message it has, God gives us gifts. These gifts are meant to further the message, to draw more people in to listen the prayer God has prayed for us. I know people that can plan events and get people together just to have a good time with amazing ease. Some can take even the most discouraging situation and turn it into something beautiful. There are still some that use art, music, or even sports to speech of the message that changed their life. The best way to describe what I have come to believe my gift is are words found in Jeremiah 20:9:

“But if I say that I’ll never mention the Lord or speak his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones! I am worn out from holding it in! I can’t do it!” (NLT)

There’s something about weaving words together that calms and excites me at the same time. When I encounter God, there is something that stirs within me to write it down – and if I do not, my heart feels as though it is going against its purpose. It cries out in betrayal if I neglect to write down what I know to be true. Writing is my extension into the world, a mark I feel satisfied to leave even if no one decides to read the words. They are my way of allowing people into my life and into my view of God. I claim no truth in them except God’s truth, there is no worth except what He decides to assign. For some unexplainable reason, I want to give some sort of Kildascope view of the God who has changed every part of who I am.

And in this lies the purpose of this compilation. It may stay as a document on Microsoft Word or it might become pages to turn. Whatever the case may be, I hope the words cause my God to sing. I hesitate to write for the purpose of distribution simply because of pride that can come with a gift. Yet Jesus himself said that what we learn in secret should be shouted from the rooftops. These pages are my rooftop and the secrets I have heard are the prayers of my God."